Is It Okay to Enjoy Your Life?

Have you ever caught yourself enjoying something and felt like you'd better stop?

Maybe it was sitting on the porch a few minutes longer than you meant to. The sun was warm, the leaves were turning on the hill, and for once nobody needed anything. Then the thought slid in: You've got clothes in the dryer. Get up.

Or you laughed so hard at supper you had to wipe your eyes, and right after, a little voice said it was a bit much.

A lot of us were raised to believe that work is holy and rest is something you earn. We know how to serve. We know how to show up with a casserole and stay to wash the dishes. What we don't know how to do is enjoy something without feeling like we got away with it.

So let me ask the question out loud, because I think a lot of us are wondering it quietly: Is it okay to enjoy your life?

What 1 Timothy 6:17 says

Paul was writing to Timothy about people who had plenty, and he warned them not to put their hope in money. Fair enough. But look at how he finishes the sentence:

"Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy." (1 Timothy 6:17, KJV)

Who giveth us richly all things to enjoy.

Not "all things to manage." Not "all things to feel guilty about." To enjoy. And He doesn't hand them out in thimblefuls. He gives richly.

The warning in this verse is about where we put our trust. The gift in this verse is joy itself. God isn't nervous about us enjoying our lives. He's the One who handed us the good things in the first place.

The good things are His idea

Think about the things that make you happy that don't cost a dime.

The smell of coffee before anybody else is up. A grandbaby falling asleep on your chest. The first cool morning in September. A good hymn sung loud by people who can't carry a tune. Biscuits that turned out just right. The way the fog sits in the hollow before the sun burns it off.

You didn't invent any of that. He did. He made a world with taste and color and music and laughter in it when He could have made it gray and useful. That tells you something about His heart.

When you enjoy a good gift, you're not stealing from Him. You're receiving from Him. There's a difference, and it matters.

Enjoying it is a way of saying thank you

Picture giving a gift to someone you love. You picked it out with care. And she opens it, says "Oh, that's nice," and puts it in a drawer because she doesn't feel like she deserves it.

That would break your heart a little, wouldn't it?

I wonder how many gifts we've put in the drawer. The afternoon off we didn't take. The friend we didn't call back because we were too busy. The hobby we gave up because it felt selfish. The quiet minutes we filled with one more chore.

Enjoying what God gives isn't selfish. It's gratitude you can see. It's taking the gift out of the drawer and using it, and letting Him watch you smile.

Try this before the season gets busy

This week, pick one ordinary thing you love and do it on purpose. Don't rush it, and don't apologize for it.

Sit on the porch with your coffee until it's gone. Call the friend who makes you laugh. Bake something just because you want to eat it, not because somebody's coming. Take the long way home past the river.

And while you're doing it, say one short prayer: Thank You for this. That's all. You're not wasting time. You're receiving a gift from the One who "giveth us richly all things to enjoy."

A whole evening to enjoy

If it's been a while since you did something just because it was good, I'd love to give you a night like that.

Make Room for You is Thursday, November 12, two weeks from today. The coffee bar opens at 6:30, and we'll go from 7:00 to 8:30 in the Youth Center at Meades Branch Freewill Baptist Church in Louisa. There's worship, a few quiet minutes, door prizes, the Joy Jar, a photo booth, and a room full of women who are ready to laugh. It's free. Save your seat here.

Come enjoy it. You're allowed. He made it that way on purpose.

Cassandra

Dreading the Holidays? January 1 Used to Be My Hardest Day

If you're already dreading the holidays a little, I want to tell you about my January 1.

For years, it was one of the hardest days of my whole year. Not because of the dishes or the decorations waiting to come down. Because of the guilt. I'd wake up on the first day of a new year and feel the shame settle in: another year gone, and I still hadn't put myself first.

I would count the days until the season was over. And when it was finally over, I didn't feel rested. I felt behind.

If I'm honest, I wasn't living those Decembers. I was existing. I was only surviving.

Dreading the holidays, even with a small family

Here's the part that surprises people. I didn't even have a big family. No house full of cousins, no three Christmas dinners in one day. I just put so much pressure on myself.

The right decorations. The traditions I wanted to start. The picture in my head of how it was all supposed to look. I still don't have the right decorations. I still don't have all the traditions I wanted. I'm still not good at it.

Maybe your list looks different from mine. Maybe it's the elves and the matching pajamas, or the casserole you've brought to the same dinner for twenty years, or the gifts you're already adding up in your head. The details change. The feeling doesn't. You get to the end of the season worn thin, and January 1 shows up like a report card you didn't want.

And somewhere in all of that, the season stops feeling like it's about Him.

What God wants for this season

This is what turned it for me. I know God doesn't want us going through the season about His Son feeling that way.

Read what the angel told the shepherds:

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." Luke 2:10

Good tidings of great joy. To all people. That includes the woman wrapping presents at midnight and the woman counting down the days until it's over. The news that started this whole season was joy, and it was meant for her too.

The shepherds weren't ready. They were out in a field doing their jobs, at night, probably tired. Nobody had decorated anything. And they were the first ones to hear it.

You don't have to have the right decorations to get the good tidings. You never did.

Picture a different January 1

So picture something with me.

It's January 1. The house is still a little messy. The tree is still up. But you wake up, and the first thing you feel isn't shame. It's peace. Maybe even a little joy.

You remember the night you laughed so hard with your friends that your coffee went cold. The worship song you sang in the car in December with the windows down, cold air and all. The quiet ten minutes on a Tuesday morning when you sat with your Bible before anyone else was up, and it felt like He was sitting with you.

Nothing around you was perfect. The season was still busy. But this time you were in it, not just getting through it.

That's what I'm praying for, for you and for me. Not a perfect December. A present one. And a January 1 that feels like a beginning instead of a verdict.

A few things to try between now and Thanksgiving:

• Write down the one tradition you love most. Not the ten you think you should keep. The one that makes you happy. Protect that one.

• Pick one morning a week that's just yours, even for ten minutes. Put it on the calendar like anyone else's appointment.

• When the guilt starts talking, answer it with Luke 2:10. Out loud if you need to. Good tidings of great joy, to all people. That's you.

• Say yes to one thing this season just because it's fun.

Start before the season does: Nov 12

This is exactly why we're hosting Make Room for You: An Evening Before the Season Begins. I don't want another woman to reach January 1 the way I used to. So we're gathering before the season starts, while there's still time to walk into it differently.

Thursday, November 12, the doors open at 6:30. There's a coffee bar and a Self-Care Marketplace with local self-care makers. At 7:00 we'll worship and sit still with God for a few minutes. You'll write down one thing you're carrying and leave it in the Lay It Down basket. We'll move a little, chair-friendly, to an upbeat worship song. You'll take home three cards for the season, sized for your purse. And there's the Joy Jar, door prizes, a photo booth, and a room full of women who'll laugh with you.

It's free, in the Youth Center at Meades Branch Freewill Baptist Church, 9 Vanhoose Hollow, Louisa. Save your seat at Make Room for You or text (606) 483-1001. A seat count helps us plan the coffee, the handouts and the chairs.

Bring a friend. Especially the one who already sounds tired when she talks about Christmas.

I can't promise you a perfect December. I can tell you the season started with good tidings of great joy, and that joy has your name on it. Let's walk into January already steady, together.

If this season is heavy for reasons deeper than a busy calendar, please talk with your pastor, a counselor, or your doctor.