Dreading the Holidays? January 1 Used to Be My Hardest Day

If you're already dreading the holidays a little, I want to tell you about my January 1.

For years, it was one of the hardest days of my whole year. Not because of the dishes or the decorations waiting to come down. Because of the guilt. I'd wake up on the first day of a new year and feel the shame settle in: another year gone, and I still hadn't put myself first.

I would count the days until the season was over. And when it was finally over, I didn't feel rested. I felt behind.

If I'm honest, I wasn't living those Decembers. I was existing. I was only surviving.

Dreading the holidays, even with a small family

Here's the part that surprises people. I didn't even have a big family. No house full of cousins, no three Christmas dinners in one day. I just put so much pressure on myself.

The right decorations. The traditions I wanted to start. The picture in my head of how it was all supposed to look. I still don't have the right decorations. I still don't have all the traditions I wanted. I'm still not good at it.

Maybe your list looks different from mine. Maybe it's the elves and the matching pajamas, or the casserole you've brought to the same dinner for twenty years, or the gifts you're already adding up in your head. The details change. The feeling doesn't. You get to the end of the season worn thin, and January 1 shows up like a report card you didn't want.

And somewhere in all of that, the season stops feeling like it's about Him.

What God wants for this season

This is what turned it for me. I know God doesn't want us going through the season about His Son feeling that way.

Read what the angel told the shepherds:

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." Luke 2:10

Good tidings of great joy. To all people. That includes the woman wrapping presents at midnight and the woman counting down the days until it's over. The news that started this whole season was joy, and it was meant for her too.

The shepherds weren't ready. They were out in a field doing their jobs, at night, probably tired. Nobody had decorated anything. And they were the first ones to hear it.

You don't have to have the right decorations to get the good tidings. You never did.

Picture a different January 1

So picture something with me.

It's January 1. The house is still a little messy. The tree is still up. But you wake up, and the first thing you feel isn't shame. It's peace. Maybe even a little joy.

You remember the night you laughed so hard with your friends that your coffee went cold. The worship song you sang in the car in December with the windows down, cold air and all. The quiet ten minutes on a Tuesday morning when you sat with your Bible before anyone else was up, and it felt like He was sitting with you.

Nothing around you was perfect. The season was still busy. But this time you were in it, not just getting through it.

That's what I'm praying for, for you and for me. Not a perfect December. A present one. And a January 1 that feels like a beginning instead of a verdict.

A few things to try between now and Thanksgiving:

• Write down the one tradition you love most. Not the ten you think you should keep. The one that makes you happy. Protect that one.

• Pick one morning a week that's just yours, even for ten minutes. Put it on the calendar like anyone else's appointment.

• When the guilt starts talking, answer it with Luke 2:10. Out loud if you need to. Good tidings of great joy, to all people. That's you.

• Say yes to one thing this season just because it's fun.

Start before the season does: Nov 12

This is exactly why we're hosting Make Room for You: An Evening Before the Season Begins. I don't want another woman to reach January 1 the way I used to. So we're gathering before the season starts, while there's still time to walk into it differently.

Thursday, November 12, the doors open at 6:30. There's a coffee bar and a Self-Care Marketplace with local self-care makers. At 7:00 we'll worship and sit still with God for a few minutes. You'll write down one thing you're carrying and leave it in the Lay It Down basket. We'll move a little, chair-friendly, to an upbeat worship song. You'll take home three cards for the season, sized for your purse. And there's the Joy Jar, door prizes, a photo booth, and a room full of women who'll laugh with you.

It's free, in the Youth Center at Meades Branch Freewill Baptist Church, 9 Vanhoose Hollow, Louisa. Save your seat at Make Room for You or text (606) 483-1001. A seat count helps us plan the coffee, the handouts and the chairs.

Bring a friend. Especially the one who already sounds tired when she talks about Christmas.

I can't promise you a perfect December. I can tell you the season started with good tidings of great joy, and that joy has your name on it. Let's walk into January already steady, together.

If this season is heavy for reasons deeper than a busy calendar, please talk with your pastor, a counselor, or your doctor.